Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize
