So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
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Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize