I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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