Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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