Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
