we have officially lost it.
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
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