is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
