dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
