I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Randomize
