Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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