Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize
