"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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