She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
