didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
