would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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