i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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