he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
