I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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