her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
oh god the rape fog is back!
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
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