This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
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The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
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I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
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