Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
