...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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