I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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