is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Randomize
