i don't plan on having that self control this summer
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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