I must be too annoying 4 u.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize
