Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
