I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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