So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
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