The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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