I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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