they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Randomize