There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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