Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Randomize
