I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
