Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
