I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I have already put on my inside pants.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
