Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
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