This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
