Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
