Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Randomize
