Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
