I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
