CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Randomize
