he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
