I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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