Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
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Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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