Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
