Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
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