Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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