Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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