I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
