Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
