Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
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