please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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